Footprints in the snow

Here's a blurb from the poem, "Footprints in the Sand"
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

I grew up in Iowa, which is over 1,000 miles from the beach. To me, a walk on the beach is a vacation! A rare treat! It's often bothered me that when the man in the poem saw only one set of footprints, he automatically assumed that God had abandoned him. Has my faith become spoiled so much that when something goes wrong, I automatically assume that it is God that has left me and not that it was I who wandered away? Do I think of my faith like a walk on the beach? Something that is supposed to be easy, relaxing and fun? I like to think my Iowa upbringing has made me a little tougher than that! It's hard to imagine my faith journey as a walk on the beach.

I like to think of it as a walk through the snow. Sometimes it's a whole bunch of fun. However, sometimes your faith gets hit with an unexpected, icy snowball. Do I have a faith that can brush off the snow and keep going? It doesn't take many Iowa winters to learn to look for a set of footprints in the snow. One set of footprints does not automatically inspire the fear of abandoment, in fact, it's quite the opposite. One set of footprints becomes a clear path through the challenging terrain. It means that someone bigger and stronger has gone before you and made a difficult journey a little bit easier to manage. When my faith journey leads me along a snow covered hill, I am grateful to see a set of footprints. It's a reminder that God has gone before me to prepare the way. It means that God knows my struggles and has found a way for me to get to the other side.

I give thanks for the set of footprints in the snow.

Winter Fest is stressing me out!

High School Winter Fest is December 30, 2007 to January 1, 2008. It's over New Year's Eve and I have a pretty amazing party planned. We will have a square dance (which in spite of it's old time reputation is a barrel of fun!) and party games, like "Pin the Cross on the Bible" and hula hoop contests and the limbo. Plus, we'll be in the Activity Center so we can play basketball, volleyball, floor hockey, pickle ball or any other game we come up with. There's also a whole floor of "table games" like air hockey, pool, ping pong, carpetball and others. It will be so much fun. Having High School Winter Fest over New Year's Eve was a great idea. High Schoolers can come and be themselves, be loud and wild and crazy and be encouraged to do so! Parents can enjoy their New Year's Eve without worrying about their teenager driving home late at night in possible bad weather, they know it will be well supervised. It's a great idea . . . on paper.

However, no one wants to come. Registration is at an all time low. Because it's over a holiday, high schoolers look at me like, "Are you really that old to think we'd want to go to CAMP for New Year's Eve??" (No, I am NOT that old!) I don't know how to get people here! The party is really just a ploy to convince people it will be fun and to just kick back and have fun! The whole point of Winter Fest is to give your spiritual life a nice kick in the pants. It's been a while since the Mennonite Youth Convention and our spiritual enthusiasm begins to look as dreary as the winter sky. God is constantly working through people here at camp. It's hard for youth to hear God in the midst of homework, peer pressure and hormones. Camp acts as an amplifier for God's voice. If they aren't here, it's harder to hear what God has to say.

Through this situation, I've often thought of the parable from Luke 14: 15-24.

When one of those at the table with him heard this, he said to Jesus, “Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.” Jesus replied: “A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’ But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said, ‘I have just bought a field, and I must go and see it. Please excuse me.’ Another said, ‘I have just bought five yoke of oxen, and I'm on my way to try them out. Please excuse me.' Still another said, ‘I just got married, so I can't come.’ The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’ ‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’ Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full. I tell you, not one of those men who were invited will get a taste of my banquet.’

Now, I only wish that I had servants who knew where to find the youth in town that needed a safe place to be for New Year's Eve. Even if I knew where to find the youth that needed to be at camp. My biggest prayer is God would somehow bring the youth to camp. My table IS set, open the doors and fill this house!

Not Ready for Christmas

Christmas is a week away. In 7 days from now, it is Christmas. Oh dang.

I have my Christmas shopping done, I have my tree up and decorated and I even have my Christmas cards ready to put in the mail.

But I am not ready for Christmas.

I've been to church and followed our Advent story. I've sung the Christmas hymns and even sat down and played them myself. I've made Christmas cookies and wrapped presents.

But I am not ready for Christmas.

I'm not quite at the bah-humbug stage, but I was yet to catch the Christmas magic. Until Sunday. In church we talked about Mary, the mother of Jesus. And no matter how much of a Scrooge or a Grinch I'm being, she always gets me. And to be fair, Mary had 9 months to get ready for Christmas, we only get 4 weeks of Advent. But when I stop and think about Mary, the bah-humbug's go away. She was probably no more than 16 years old. She and Joseph were so in love, I'm sure you could see them giggling and holding hands anytime they were together. She was ready to get married and be a wife, but then the Angel Gabriel shared a change of plans with her. And now this teenager's biggest concern was not whether or not to have chicken or beef at the wedding, but how in the world she is going to raise the SON OF GOD! I mean, the Messiah, the One they've been waiting for! The one they've been expecting!! SHE would be the mother of their Savior. Wow.

I imagine in the moment when she was talking to the Angel Gabriel, her faith in God was not just a belief or a hope, it was absolute fact. As real as the ground she walked on and the air she breathed. But then, the Angel left. And she still remained, and now had to share this good news with the people she loved. I know that Mary was highly favored by God, otherwise how do you share that news without sounding crazy? "Hey, Joseph-honey. I'm pregnant with the Messiah." or "Guess what Mom and Dad! You remember the Messiah that we've been waiting for all these years? I'm going to give birth to him in 9 months!" Unless you are truly favored by God, there is just no way to say that and have anyone believe you!

She understood the magic of Christmas, the outpouring of God's love into a form so real that no one could deny it, but yet in the form of a tiny little baby. Now, I've lost my chance to be an unwed pregnant teenager like Mary, and I'm not really that sad to see it go, but just thinking about her fills me with the awe and wonder that is God's love. She didn't just believe in God, she knew God.

Now, I'm ready for Christmas.


And just for a fun little Christmas anecdote. Hymn #210, Good Christian Friends, Rejoice can be a bit tricky. The last line of the first verse is, "Christ is born today" and the last line of the last verse is "Christ was born to save." When most of the choir sings the right verse and says, "Christ is born today" but a couple alto's sing the wrong verse and say, "Christ was born to save" it ends up sounding like "Christ was born Tuesday." And well, this year, the alto's were right.

As cold as ice!

On Saturday, our first winter storm of the season hit with full force. The effects ranged greatly all over Iowa with the Southern parts getting off a little easier than the rest. But don't start to think that Camp escaped untouched. To start with, the only group planning on attending camp for the weekend rightfully cancelled because of the horrible forecasts of the weekend. Throughout Saturday, camp was slowly frosted in ice. What started as rain began to freeze. And then what may have melted on the ground began to work together to make the most solid and smooth sheet of ice I've ever seen on roads! The lane into camp had a little bit of ground peeking out so that my car could grab on and slowly proceed towards the office. However, once past the pond, everything was just ice. I've never seen a gravel road freeze so perfectly and utterly smooth. A Zamboni would be jealous! So anytime someone had to go outside, he or she carefully scooted across the ice while the rest of us watched from inside, secretly hoping for a royal wipe out. :)

Apparently, the front of the camp has nothing to complain about compared to the back of camp! The road back to the pavilion and activity center is virtually impassable. Between the bend-y curves and small slopes, vehicles just aren't going to make it. And the normal exit road is officially closed for the winter. I can only imagine what it would be like to try to make it down and up those hills! First if you survive the downward slope without shooting through the trees and into the actual Crooked Creek, you'd have to wind your way uphill before making it to THE HILL. I have to talk nice to my car during the summer to convince him he wants to drive up that hill. The winter conditions would be impossible even for James Bond.

As humans, we became almost helpless in the aftermath of a winter storm until our huge noisy machines come and provide a way. The deer, raccoons and rabbits do not have snow plows, ice melt and special rubber gripped shoes to easily maneuver around the woods. God saw this coming and naturally equipped them for all the weather they need. Although one can't help but picture the classic scene from Bambi when our fearless fawn tries to cross the frozen pond. But it's always a little bit amazing to me that all of the creatures of the woods know how to prepare for and survive these blustery months. I crank up the heat, but what do they do? I just put on another sweatshirt, they can't instantly grow another fur coat!

I'm not willing to trade my blanket-filled apartment with the shivering bunnies of the woods, but they do have my respect for being able to make it. And God has my amazement for creating them in just the way they needed to survive.

The Music and Worship Retreat

Wow! What a weekend!! There were about 40 people here at camp this past weekend for a time of retreating, music-ing and worshiping. (I don't mean Thanksgiving weekend, I mean Nov. 16-17.) This retreat has been in the planning for a long time. I found emails in the MW Retreat file from September 2005! I jumped on board of this bandwagon in August of 2007, so my work was really just the icing on the cake. People gathered literally from all over to join in God's work. While most of the participants were from right here in Southeastern Iowa, we had people travel from Nebraska, Michigan and South Dakota. I love Iowa and its people, but I will stick by my stance that the out-of-state people are always the coolest. (Maybe this has something with me being an out-of-stater in college for 4, *ahem* 5 years.) But people who make things like a Music and Worship Retreat so much of a priority that they are willing to drive 4-8 hours just to attend have something inside of them that is worth sharing.

The overall shape of the weekend was as follows: Corporate Worship, Workshop Session, break/food. As an additional focus, the whole retreat was centered around the Psalms and was subtitled, "Encountering God through the Psalms". On Friday evening, Tom and Lois Harder (the guest speakers for the weekend) led us in worship using the Psalms of Creation. It's always an awesome reminder of how small we are compared to the rest of Creation, but yet how loved we are by God compared to the rest of Creation. Small, but significant.

On Saturday morning, Tom and Lois did not shy away from the difficult Psalms. They focused on the Psalms of Lament. If you think you are upset, take a minute and read some of these Psalms! The authors get honest and express their frustrations without hesitation. One of the Psalms (137) even calls for dashing of babies upon rocks. Yeeks! However, Tom and Lois were quick to point out that the Psalmists always established a deep and true faith in God and ultimately left the next course of action up to God. They pointed out that it is healthy for us as humans to feel these emotions and sometimes express them in appropriate means. However, you can't stop there. The key point to the morning worship was to find closure by letting go and letting God take over.

On Saturday afternoon, Tom and Lois wrapped up our Psalm exploration with Psalms of Sovereignty. Through this we explored the Psalms that express and worship our God that is Sovereign over everything and the ultimate King. These Psalms helped to provide ways to worship and adore this God of the universe who still loves and knows each and every person in the most intimate ways.

Throughout the weekend, various Workshop Sessions were offered. However, being responsible for preparing the next event, I didn't get to attend any sessions entirely. I just popped in to each one to see how things were going. Each session offered a different aspect of worship or the Psalms and it was great to learn together. It was a potluck of knowledge. There isn't one person who could lead "Movement as Worship" AND "How to use the Sound System" AND "Reading through the Prayer Book of God's People." However, because our Workshop Leaders were willing to share what they DID know, people came away learning more than would have been possible otherwise.

So far I've mentioned things that I've had my hand in preparing. I'm not taking credit for these effectiveness or trying to say the weekend was great because of me. Those were just the activities of the weekend that were planned. However, a lot of great things happened that could not have been planned for. Because this event brought together people from all over, people began to connect and fellowship. At lunch on Saturday, people were sitting together and laughing with others that had been strangers only 24 hours before. Mennonites did what Mennonites do best . . . talk. And it was beautiful to see so many connections being made!!

Overall, it was a pretty great weekend. It is exciting to me to see adults in the community give up their personal time to retreat for a weekend and allow themselves to be challenged to grow closer to God. One couple could have been finishing some outside painting, another woman could have been at the Iowa football game. [It turned out to be a good thing not to go to the game because the Hawkeyes didn't do so well, and that's just bad for one's health!] I'm sure everyone at the retreat had a long list of things on their to-do list that could have been checked off during their time away. Instead, they chose to make this a priority and I hope that they were as greatly blessed as I was.

Jesus the Camp Counselor

Mark 5: 35-41 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side," Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher! Don't you care if you drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

When I was at my wit's end with my campers of the week, I would often think of this story. Here was Jesus, tired from preaching and healing and leading crowds of people around. He finally found a chance to take a breather and just get in a little nap. All his disciples had to do was manage the boat. A task that shouldn't be too hard for 12 guys, many of whom were once fishermen. Jesus just wanted a nap. He was just dozing off in the comfortable swaying of the boat, when the disciples run up to him in a panic . . . "The wind! The waves! We're gonna tip over! We're gonna die! What do we do?!?! JESUS!! DON'T YOU CARE THAT WE ARE GOING TO DROWN!?!?!" Sound like anything you've heard before? And all Jesus has to do is sit up, wave his hand at the wind and say, "Cut it out!" And the amazing thing is, IT DOES! He then turns to his disciples and in a sleepy, disgruntled way says, "Really? We're doing this again!? You still don't get it, do you?"

I have moments like that with my campers. I'm just about to fall asleep and get a little rest after a short night with two bathroom breaks, running around in the hot sun and 3 more days waiting for me until the end of camp. Then all of the sudden, "EEK!! A BUG!!!! JOHANNA! JOHANNA! JOHANNA!! It's a bug and it's HUGE!!" I get up to see an ant on someone's bunk. I either squish it, or catch it on a piece of paper and fling it out the door. "Really girls? We're still afraid of ants? Haven't you been at camp long enough to realize that there are bugs and nothing's going to hurt you? I'm going back to sleep."

To put Jesus in the role of camp counselor even more, consider this! It is very likely that His disciples were only 15 years old. And even more likely that they were, in short, Rabbi Rejects. If young boys of that age were out fishing with their fathers, then they were learning the family trade, not on the way to become a Rabbi. So Jesus, picks out 12 of the smelliest, most average type guys around, and to top it all off, they were about 15. No wonder it's easy to picture Jesus as the camp counselor! However, He didn't have these guys for a week, He had them for three years and he picked them. Now if that isn't an example crazy love, then I don't know what is.

A New Name

So many times in the Bible, when God calls someone to do His bidding, He gives them a new name. Abram and Sarai become Abraham and Sarah. Saul becomes Paul, Jacob becomes Israel, Simon became Peter and the list goes on and on! There are many reasons for these name changes and you'd have to ask a Biblical scholar for the real answers and historical meanings. The following are just my thoughts and personal musings.

So many times the name we begin with develops a strong metal box around us. We begin to feel trapped by the label we've created out of our name and have no way of breaking free. But God steps down into human form and sets us free from the invisible bondage with a simple sentence! Matt. 16:17-18, "Jesus replied, 'Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter [which means rock], and on this rock I will build my church and the gates of Hades will not overcome it.'" Jesus simply said these words and Simon was transformed from a simple, clumsy teenager who never seemed to get it right to Peter, the new rock of the church.

In college, you get a fresh start. No one knows what your 'name' was in high school and it's a chance for you to start brand new. Sometimes you create your name by the things you do with friends and how you spend your free time, sometimes you create your new name based on your major or strongest talents. And when the past that you used to depend on is gone, you cling to your new name as though it is all you have. This is fun for a while . . .

I recently escaped from the bondage of my name as a music major. My entire life began to wrap around this name that I had developed for myself. Yes, God has given me a gift of music and the type of soul that sometimes only communicates in music. And I am thankful for these things. However, God has given me much more! I am not just a music major. But that was my name. So all of the other gifts that were living within me got squashed down to the bottom and ignored. But now! I am not a music major anymore. I have been given a new name by the very Son of God. I am Johanna Jean, Program Director. Fortunately, "Program Director" is a very broad name. It means a whole lot of stuff, and that excites me! I will not be stuck just planning programs or just leading games for summer camp. I get to do a variety of things and use ALL of the gifts God has given me.

One time I asked my mother why she named me Johanna. It's not really a family name and it's definitely not a popular name. She said that when I was born, I just looked like a Johanna. In Hebrew, Johanna means "Gift of God". It is also a feminine form of John which means, "God is Gracious". My middle name is Jean, which is a Scottish form of Jane which is also a feminie form of John. So all together, my name means, "Gift of God" and "God is very Gracious."

God has indeed been very gracious to me. I inevitably manage to find myself in the middle of a big patch of thorns with no way out. Before I even have a chance to ask, God has cleared a path in the right direction for me until I absent-mindedly wander off into a whole new patch of thorns. I also know that to whom much is given, much is expected. God has been gracious to me and I know that it is my turn to share this with those around me. I have no doubt that my counselors and campers this summer will provide ample opportunities for me to practice being gracious. My prayer is that I will fully embrace these teachable moments and respond in such a way that people do not say, "Johanna is so gracious!" but rather, "God is gracious indeed!"

a perfect box of crayons

They say that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. If such is true, then artists through out the ages and of every culture have been creating compliments like crazy. This past week has been picture-perfect fall. It's as though the most perfect box of crayons exploded all over the earth. The sky is such a brilliant blue and the leaves are every color from green to deep red. Even the browns of the trees is so perfect.

I got to dog sit my "niece" while my brother and his wife were out of town. We went on a walk through camp and oh my. It was just fabulous. A thesaurus does not have enough words to describe the crazy beautiful things we saw. From the animals of fur and feather to the growth of green and brown. I thought I had seen it all at camp before. I haven't even scratched the surface.

The point of this blog is just to say that God is many things. One of which is the most amazing creator and artist of all times.

The Priority of Prayer

I've grown up thinking that prayer is something done in church, before meals and in one's own time. You are supposed to get up 15 minutes earlier (ha! yeah right!!) to do devotions or stay up 15 minutes later to do them in the evening (much more likely). You steal away to a quiet place to pray or you do it in the privacy of your own home. You pray at Bible Studies and with groups of friends and at Sunday School and before tests. There are many places to pray and very few places not to pray.

However. I have never thought that prayer was something one could get paid to do. Often I find myself at my desk with a challenge or an obstacle sitting before me.
To make this program the most effective, should I do it this way or that way? Is there something that could make it even better? Is this what people need or is it just what I want? How do I know if this is what God wants accomplished or what I want accomplished?
Staring at my computer does not provide any answers. However, leaning back in my chair, staring at the ceiling in prayer does, just not always immediately.

The most obvious and easy answer is prayer. Just ask God! I mean, duh! He's all-knowing, omnipotent, He sees the past, present and future all at the same time. What an amazing resource ready to answer any question I ask. Before I even ask the question, I know God will answer. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Mt. 7:7-8 It seems so obvious, prayer!

God has truly blessed me to prepare a place for me to work where I can learn what it means to put Him first in real life, not just a theoretical and hypothetical life we dream about in college.

Held Captive by the Should's

Many times, my life is dictated by the things I should do. When I was in school it was, "I should do my homework now, I should go to bed before 2 a.m., I should be practicing right now" and on and on. These are generally good ideas to do anyway, but my life was quickly filled with the things I should do and not the things I could do. Yes, I should start writing my paper more than a week before it's due, but I could be spending time with friends and taking advantage of an opportunity to build relationships that will never be available again. And when I was doing what I could instead of the things I should, I was filled with guilt.

My first prison break from the "should's" was when I decided to start reading Harry Potter. [I haven't read #7, if you have, don't be a spoiler!] I lived on a college campus with a very nice academic library. I had access to a lot of scholarly materials. However, I decided to take a stand against what I should read and what I could read. So I read a Harry Potter, a book that had captivated the pre-teen audience. It was an amazing experience. Yes, the books are very engaging, but I found a great freedom in doing something I wanted to do instead of doing something "They" say I should.

"They". Who is this illusive "they" that seems to control what I do with my own time? I don't know!! But whoever "they" are, they have an extreme amount of influence over my decisions. Do I really mean to let them have so much control? Did they earn the right to have such an influence or did I just take a passive role in my own life and allow "they who shall not be named" take over? Shouldn't Jesus' teachings have more influence over me than a group of stubborn ideals with no credible foundation?

I think about this as I program activities for the upcoming year. Am I doing these things because I should or because I could? I find the best way to break free from the should's is to simply ask "Why" or "Why not?"
We are going to start at 9:00 a.m. with a speaker.
Why?
Because that's how we always do it. That's just how things should work!
But why? We could start with some games to get people relaxed!
Because that's not how things should be done!

Matthew 5:43 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbors and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven."

Jesus could have also said, "You have heard it said that you should, 'Love your neighbors and hate your enemy.' But why? You could love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you!"

My goal is to not do what I should.
My goal is to do what I could and see where God leads me!

A weekly blog!

Greetings!

My name is Johanna and I'm the Program Director at Crooked Creek Christian Camp. *Sigh* I think every email for the last month has started out like that! And yet, I am still realizing the full power of that statement. I am no longer a student. I am no longer just trudging from class to class, and doing work because I have to. I am a Program Director. My responsibility at work is to plan events and activites for all ages that will delight and entertain AND bring them closer to the Great Creator. This morning already, I've emailed pastors in the surrounding areas, mapped out a schedule for 2008 and read an article or two from the camp magazine, "In Site". It's not even lunch time yet! I just can't believe I'm getting paid to do this!

I'm not going to tell the story of how I came to be a year-round staffer at camp, but trust me, it's a wonderful story. However, it's not MY story. It's a God story in which I get to play the leading lady. To sum it up into one statement, this job is an answer to a prayer I hadn't even dared to whisper.

Enough background for now. The point of this blog is to provide a little glimpse into the world of camp beyond just summer kid's camp. It is a whole new world to me and one I enjoy immensly. Right now, camp is being enveloped in the transitional season of fall. The leaves are changing in all sorts of firery colors and falling to the ground to open up a window to see beyond the woods. A family of deer is seen daily just grazing. And just in case all was not beautiful enough, God threw in a perfect blue sky to complete the fall day. Personally, I am a spring-lover, but on days like this, I can't help but say that THIS is the day that the Lord has made. Let us be glad and rejoice in it!

I will update this blog weekly. I hope to provide a glimpse into the many Adventures at Crooked Creek, but also share with you the lessons of my heart. God is here at camp.